We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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