Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
