You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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