Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
