I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
