I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Its about making memories worth repressing
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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