Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
