Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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