I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
either way he was missing a nipple.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
