There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
