OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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