Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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