I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
