After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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