so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
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