Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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