The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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