and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Randomize
