i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
