i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
handjob tips. give me some.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
