You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
