Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
