I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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