I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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