its not stalking. its research.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I have fence marks all over my body
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
