Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
