I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Randomize
