let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
