Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I am one with the molecules
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
