We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
