I will die if light touches me.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Randomize
