I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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