Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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