you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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