Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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