I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
