Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Randomize