I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
