I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
