There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
