That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
