I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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