More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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