Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Randomize
