Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize