and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
