I can feel you judging me through the phone.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
We talked him into tasing himself.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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