i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Are we still banned from the library?
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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