i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
you would pick up someone in the library
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
