member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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