He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I think I just sharted jello shots
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