At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize