So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Randomize
