it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize