Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
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